have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
