She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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