All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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