thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
