I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
