East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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