I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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