I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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