i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Terrible idea I love it
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
