My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
