At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
