do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
