I just made out with a guy for $7.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
