Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
