Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
