Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
