did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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