Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
