I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize