She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
