so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
