If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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