I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
