I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
