Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
