at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
