Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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