only you would photoshop your dick
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
