I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
