I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
