I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
