Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
