SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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