thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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