do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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