I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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