He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
