sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
