hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
