Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
