i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
