Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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