just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
birth control should be required to get into college
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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