i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
