The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
