Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
