I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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