Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
