If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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