she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
