I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
