I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the condom got lost in my hair
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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