I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
