His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
