dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
