i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
