have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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