Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
