So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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