3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
