no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
